The other night, D and I were making dinner and generally chatting about life when D mentioned that he sometimes wonders whether he should have chosen a different career path. I said a pouty little "but then we probably never would have met," in response to which D wrapped his arms around my waist and said "yes, we would." I said "no, we wouldn't" and he said "yes, we would" with a ridiculous assurance that made me ask "why?" And he kissed me on the forehead and said "because we were meant to be together" (aw!).
Now, I pretty much hold the view that most things happen for a reason - decisions, mistakes, whatever - and that they all combine to land you precisely where you need to be. Looking back, I can see how every single step, even as far back as choosing what to study at university and where to work following graduation, was leading me to D (albeit slooowly). I hate to think that, had I changed one single thing in that chain of events, my life could have veered off in an entirely different direction that didn't include crossing paths with the beautiful man I am now lucky enough to call my husband. It may have been a great life, but it also may not have involved D, and I can't imagine life without him. But D's statement made me ponder whether really, we are all heading towards our own particular destinies and will get there in the end irrespective of the paths we wind up taking. Meant-to-be versus happens for a reason. Are they, in essence, the same? I just wonder, would I have still taken up photography? Gone on that particular trip? Posted the photos of Italy that prompted him to email me? If he had chosen a different path, would he have taken up photography? Met someone else? So many questions, and it kind of does my head in. Reminds me of the movie Sliding Doors, except I hope that I don't meet my untimely end in this timeline (sorry for the potential spoiler, but the movie is around fourteen years old (which in turn makes me feel kind of old), so I'm hoping it's alright!).
And that's kind of all I have to say about that (well, there is more, but I can't express it with any form of acceptable clarity, so it will remain a mess in my head).
I'm hoping desperately that meant-to-be is the way to go! I met the love of my life when I was 18 and was prevented from marrying him by my parents at the time. Yet here we are having travelled different paths, sometimes colliding, sometimes no contact for years, meeting again 30 years later and still as much in love with one another as ever, yet still not in a place where we can be together!!! If it is meant to be, then we will get there in the end, and its not the end yet. But we are getting there!!! Thing is, never, ever give up on your dreams.
ReplyDeleteI agree - it can be enough to make your head hurt, if pondered. But I'm a great believer in fate, destiny an all that malarkey so I try not to think about it too much and try keep my rosey specs on - in a romantic way.
ReplyDeleteAwwwwww to your man by the way.
Nina xxxx
God I love that movie! I think about these kinds of things ALL of the time, because my hubby and I met randomly as well.
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful blog!! Love reading it!!
ReplyDeleteGreetings from Spain!
I love thinking these thoughts, but they can tie your head in knots. It is a beautiful thought, though, and comforting in a way, to think that we are destined somehow for a given path. But then it can be tempting to allow life to happen to you instead of making your life be what you want it to be! I think you've got to do the work, make the choices, but then you can have a little fun looking back, thinking about the what-ifs.
ReplyDeleteI love love love your blog and your photos are amazing, love that you still use film. Stumbled on your blog via Bianca's Oh My Creative.
ReplyDeleteI met my husband via the interwebs too very similar to you and D. He was in Tamworth, I was in Melbourne so it was a lot easier for us. Have been happily married for 2.5 years.
Re your blog topic. I've thought about this far too many times too. Especially since I lived in the middle east most of my life, if there had been no war I'd never would have ended up in Australia thus never marrying my aussie sweetheart. Definitely meant to be!
Looking forward to reading more of your blog!
Wow thats a great story! I used to think people who met online as socially inept types or desperados whose biological clocks are ticking or divorcees trying to clutch at last straws etc but your story is none of that and so beautiful romantic!! Wish you luck and happiness!!
ReplyDeleteI like to believe everything happens for a reason but also, I believe we all have control over our destiny, that it's up to us to make what we want happen.
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