Well, this week was downright feral, work-wise, until late yesterday afternoon when I was granted a reprieve in the form of a postponement of next week's four day hearing. Talk about a massive weight off my shoulders, hooray! For the first time in a long time, I had lost the ability to switch off after leaving work for the day, and basically spent all my waking hours fretting. It was exhausting, not to mention the fact that I felt as though I was spending zero quality time with D, what with going to work early and then being a little bundle of tired, preoccupied stress when I got home in the evenings. At least it's a pay week - that softened the blow a little! I may have also invested in a new dress at lunchtime today (as well as a shirt for D, because I like to buy him things but also that way he can't get mad [not that he really would anyway, I don't think]), and now the weather just needs to warm up already so that I can wear the thing! Come on, warmth! Pretty please ...
Anyway, that was just a random aside for no reason in particular. So lately I have been thinking on and off about life and all the rest of it, trying to sort out exactly what it is I dream of so that I can make like a certain sporty company with a logo that resembles some form of swoosh and just do it already (I hope that wasn't a trademark violation right there). But as per usual, my problem is that I think too much, so really I am kind of the Antithesis of the Swoosh. I often wonder whether this is due to my lawyer brain, which is all risk-averse and always imagining that feared worst case scenario whilst searching for ways to avoid it. Damn you, lawyer brain! Do you ever wonder how some people can just seem so ... free? I do. Usually whilst riddled with angst. And a little bit of envy (I just sighed, even). Really I feel mostly clueless about the whole caper, but it's okay ... with all the thinking, I am bound to figure it out sometime, right? and in the meantime I have my love and my family and the cat and plenty of good in my life to see me through (not to mention lots of photo-taking in Europe in a matter of weeks! So excited!).
PS. Also, I loved this piece that my talented friend Annelise posted today. I have that quote pinned to the notice board in my office to remind me that life and time are precious and awesome and should never be taken for granted.
Anyway, that was just a random aside for no reason in particular. So lately I have been thinking on and off about life and all the rest of it, trying to sort out exactly what it is I dream of so that I can make like a certain sporty company with a logo that resembles some form of swoosh and just do it already (I hope that wasn't a trademark violation right there). But as per usual, my problem is that I think too much, so really I am kind of the Antithesis of the Swoosh. I often wonder whether this is due to my lawyer brain, which is all risk-averse and always imagining that feared worst case scenario whilst searching for ways to avoid it. Damn you, lawyer brain! Do you ever wonder how some people can just seem so ... free? I do. Usually whilst riddled with angst. And a little bit of envy (I just sighed, even). Really I feel mostly clueless about the whole caper, but it's okay ... with all the thinking, I am bound to figure it out sometime, right? and in the meantime I have my love and my family and the cat and plenty of good in my life to see me through (not to mention lots of photo-taking in Europe in a matter of weeks! So excited!).
I always find it a little strange that as we head into Autumn in the UK on the other side of the world Spring is just emerging, but that's the way of the world I guess and the seasons keep on changing - like life. I'm sure you'll find what your'e searching for at some point.
ReplyDeleteYay for payday by the way and a new dress - swoon.
Nina x
I am always so envious of those people who just always knew exactly what they wanted to do. They found their passion and are out there doing it. It's not that easy for most of us. Good luck in your search. Love the quote as well!
ReplyDeleteBoy! I just needed to hear this, today! I'm trying to follow some photographic dreams but, ironically, this part is just stressing me out - just like you and your work. sigh. Am I over thinking it? Why can't I figure it out?! Why can't I just do it?
ReplyDeleteYou know, it was funny - back in Southern California, when I was growing up, I came up with that motto for myself. I'd say it to myself and anyone who'd listen and, what d'ya think?! A year later - that swooshy logoed company came up with it as THEIR slogan. =/
I think I need a new dress, too! =]
xxo
yay for a new dress - I'm waiting for dress wearing weather too, although I haven't bought a new one (yet).
ReplyDeleteOh I just know what feeling. I'm trying to figure it out too...I wish following you heart was as easy as it sounds but what if you don't know what your heart says. I look forward to your photo-taking too...I'm excited to find out which places you will visit. And I'm also excited that we've made the last arrangements for our trip to Rome in the end of October. :) xo
ReplyDeleteUgh, I hate poopy weeks. At least it's Friday though, right?
ReplyDeleteI often think about successful people. Like people who come from nothing (and I only mean nothing as in not from an already wealthy family) and build massive empires, like Richard Branson or other business type people. And I don't know the answer to their success but I think it's a combination of not thinking too much about failure and just doing it. Just trying it out, see what happens. And if they do fail, so what? At least they had a go.
And I think you DO know what you want to do. You just need to believe that you can do it. Think of that other quote: what would you do if you knew you could not fail? and there's your answer. But like I said, you know.
(Thank you for the lovely mention! That quote both inspires and terrifies me.)
I love that quote. I hope you figure it all out, Natasha, in fact I'm sure you will. :)
ReplyDeleteRandom thoughts are great, we all have them. It just let's us relate to you more!
ReplyDeleteGreat photo too btw.